Wow I'm really glad I came across this thread! Get ready for an epic tale: I too have this problem, an acute fear of wetting myself while on a long journey or in some other situation where toilet access is unavailable to me or is deemed socially unacceptable (ie when in class/meetings/the cinema after you've just been etc.). It's a sometimes unbearable feeling of anxiety mixed with the overwhelming desire to use the loo and is nearly always brought on for me by a trip into the unknown or some other traditional nervy activity (public presenting, driving test/lessons and so on). The first time I recall it happening was while sitting an exam around 3 and a half yrs ago. It was my final exam at the end of college (i'm in the UK so I had just turned 18) and I knew that I had to achieve a certain mark on this one exam in order to get into the University that I had selected as my number one choice. Not having any previous history of anxiety or nervousness I remember feeling pretty good about it, almost indifferent, but as soon as I sat down at my desk and the tutor said "and you can begin." a sudden wave of dread washed over me, as it dawned on me that I had to sit this exam and try and write down everything I had learnt, or mess up in some way and not get to the Uni (that everyone expected me to get into) the following September. As I was thinking this I was aware that I hadn't been to the loo in a while, and I had just downed a fair bit of water from a bottle I had brought in with me, I wasn't bursting for the loo, but it was a feeling that I couldn't shift and it came at the same time as my mini panic attack, which lasted a full five minutes and resulted in me using all of my willpower to stick the pen to paper and start writing (I was fine after this and stayed in the exam the full two hours). Suffice to say I did do well enough on that exam, and I did go to the Uni that I wanted (it w 1000 as awesome ). In spite of my achievement there, it was this single event that I believe created the irrational fear. Having a relatively straightforward (and very fun) 1st yr at Uni did not create another situation like this and so the problem did not arise again for well over a year, when I began learning to drive. The first few lessons were perfectly normal, however as I came closer to my test I started putting more and more pressure on myself to do well, as I badly wanted to drive (so I could impress women obviously). It got to the point where I could no longer book 2hr lessons because I was afraid of acting 'weird' and wanting to stop to use the loo, on the eve of my final lesson and the test, I was so terrified I had to go for a 45 min walk prior to the lesson starting, to try and take my mind off it. Around the same time I was beginning to become more anxious about everyday activities, like going to lectures, and even to the pub, it started to take over, and it was only while my mind was active and thinking about a task in hand that I could forget about it, when I was in a situation where I was alone or had to be somewhere unfamiliar, it was a real problem. Bus journeys were particularly difficult (before I passed my test and got a car, yay!) and I found myself skipping lots of lectures simply because I could not bear getting on a bus and running the 'risk' of wetting myself on a journey that took just 40mins. After going through a few ideas in my head (I've never told anyone about this ) I settled on the fact that it was an irrational fear and was all to do with a chemical reaction triggered by my own strange thought patterns, after all, I've NEVER wet myself before (except while in nappies of course), and I can go for hours and hours on end sometimes, even with a full bladder, while I was busy and if I wasn't thinking about the fear. I have spent a long time trying to train myself not to be consumed by the thoughts, those that spiral off into outright panic attacks (sweating, being unable to think straight etc.) and I feel now that I am starting to get on top of it as I retrain myself (finding this thread has helped loads as well, reading other people's stories). I try to compare myself with people that have conditioned themselves to do pretty much anything, like not to be as afraid of spiders, to become used to cold weather, to understand a different language, hell, even learning to play an instrument or something, this has helped me reinforce the idea that everything is still completely under my control, and that it is entirely irrational and can be stopped by positive thinking and reflection on the things I have already done. I still get the occasional pang, normally in cars, however I have always successfully overcome the fear, even when it gets quite intense. Just remember, your bladder will not release anything unless YOU tell it to, and you know exactly what you have to do for that to happen, this is NOTHING like the feeling that you are having when you are anxious, and it does not matter how much you THINK you will wet yourself, you won't, because YOU are controlling the muscle. That's a really confusing paragraph probably, but you might get the gist of what I mean. Anyway thanks for reading, it's cool to get that all down and I will keep checking back to this thread in future for more stories/comments! levitra website
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